in a tight spot....

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jimbo&rooster
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in a tight spot....

Post by jimbo&rooster » Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:17 am

my wife has a dachshound that is 18yrs old. In the 10yrs my wife and I have been together I have never mixed words about how I feel about this dog. Well, at 18 we are coming down to the short road with her. she has had a couple seisures, she is deaf, blind, and incontenent, and her kidneys are failing.

the dog has more or less been confined to a 6x6 pen for the last few months. my opinion is the dogs quality of life is not good.

I have suggested several times to my wife that the best thing for this dog might be to put her down, but at the suggestion, she flies off the handle and starts crying and says that i never liked the dog. I feel like she is being selfish and the dog is not relly happy......

What are yalls thoughts?

Jim
A limit on the strap is nice, but the kill has nothing to do with tradition.

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by slistoe » Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:58 am

It is your wife's dog. It is never easy trying to make the decision that NOW is the time. It is not your place to make that decision. As you have indicated you are creating tension between the two of you by trying to force the issue. So long as she is caring for the dog wait till she wakes up one morning and says "It is time."

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by ACooper » Fri Jun 22, 2012 8:00 am

jimbo&rooster wrote:my wife has a dachshound that is 18yrs old. In the 10yrs my wife and I have been together I have never mixed words about how I feel about this dog. Well, at 18 we are coming down to the short road with her. she has had a couple seisures, she is deaf, blind, and incontenent, and her kidneys are failing.

the dog has more or less been confined to a 6x6 pen for the last few months. my opinion is the dogs quality of life is not good.

I have suggested several times to my wife that the best thing for this dog might be to put her down, but at the suggestion, she flies off the handle and starts crying and says that i never liked the dog. I feel like she is being selfish and the dog is not relly happy......

What are yalls thoughts?

Jim
She is probably in denial about the condition of the dog, after 18 years that is understandable. Tread lightly.

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by rinker » Fri Jun 22, 2012 8:07 am

That dog is only going to suffer for a few more weeks or months no matter what. You, on the other hand, might have to suffer for years. I would advise you to leave it alone.

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by jcbuttry8 » Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:49 am

Dealt with the same thing with my mom and our German Sheppard. By the end, his hips were so bad he was walking on his back elbows. He was my pup from a young boy. I finally talked her into letting me take him to my house. I kept him for a week and said my goodbyes and put him down. My wife spent very little time with him and still bawled at the vet. Yeah, I did to.

My point is, make her as comfortable as possible. My dog was my mom's kid when all of us were out of the house. She almost felt like going and putting him down was like putting one of her children down. She couldn't do it and still 12 years later gets pissed at my dad when the subject comes up. All he did was insist that he be put down. She won't speak to him for several hours. Not one bad thing towards me and I'm the one that sat with him to the end at the vet.

I wouldn't say another word about the dog. When she cries just hold her, if she wants information get it for her. When she wants a ride take her to the vet. Then do something nice for her.

Still to this day, my mom will not allow my dad to get another dog. She never wants to own another. Sounds like you might be in the same boat as far as feeling go.

Good luck,

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by birddog1968 » Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:13 am

The way i look at it and i would think anyone would understand is that any dog of mine doesn't deserve to suffer one day to spare myself any emotional pain.

I owe it to them to do the right thing in the end and not allow them to suffer or have a terribly low quality of life....
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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by hpvizslas » Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:31 am

rinker wrote:That dog is only going to suffer for a few more weeks or months no matter what. You, on the other hand, might have to suffer for years. I would advise you to leave it alone.

+1

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by ACooper » Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:38 am

birddog1968 wrote:I owe it to them to do the right thing in the end and not allow them to suffer or have a terribly low quality of life....
Couldn't agree more, hard to convince someone who doesn't want to believe.

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by Cajun Casey » Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:59 am

Take your wife for a two to three nights away mini vacation. Board the dog at the vet with instructions that no heroic measures be taken. It is my experience that many dogs in that condition will cling to life because their owner pesters them too much to let them go in peace. I have seen it happen with many client dogs. Owner is usually gone when they die, whether at home or not. Show this to your wife. Her little dachsie is bonded and won't leave her. Give the dog some peace in a neutral place and she will let go.
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in a tight spot....

Post by cmc274 » Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:37 pm

Tough spot man. I sgree eith you, but it reminds me of a favorite saying of mine.

"I can be right or I can be happy. I choose to be happy."

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by birddog1968 » Fri Jun 22, 2012 2:34 pm

ACooper wrote:
birddog1968 wrote:I owe it to them to do the right thing in the end and not allow them to suffer or have a terribly low quality of life....
Couldn't agree more, hard to convince someone who doesn't want to believe.

I agree, I think my first line is the one that convinced me how to look at it, that was said to me by a wise old dog man......
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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by jimbo&rooster » Fri Jun 22, 2012 3:22 pm

thanks guys, Its hard for me to keep my mouth shut about it. I grew up understanding that in the end it was more about the animals not suffering than it was about me being happy, and can remember my dad taking hs old setter to the truck one day with a rifle and a shovel and coming home with tears in his eyes.

My wife on the other hand grew up in a family where they keep their animals alive by any means necesary (old school live stock farmers oddly enough) and its sad to see the animals suffer for the sake of their owners.

I suppose Ill just keep waiting and see what happens. I really dont think its my place to make any decisions and wont. I just wanted to see what others thoughts were on the situation.

She has her dogs and I have mine i suppose as long as she leaves me to handle mine as I see fit I won't bother her about how she manages her dogs.

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by ezzy333 » Fri Jun 22, 2012 5:36 pm

That is an odd way of looking at things for an old time farmer. I had to shoot my pony when I was twelve becaause she slipped and broke a leg. Think it taught me there sre grester responsibilities than what we feel comfortable with many times. Guess it also made me much less fearful of death while also learning it was our responsibility to do things humanely for all of our animals since we were the ones that took their freedom away and make the decision how they are going to live.

Sounds like staying out of it is the smart thing for you to do, but like you, I am not sure I could.

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by steamer » Fri Jun 22, 2012 8:55 pm

that is a tight spot. like others have said she knows how you feel now its time to bite your tongue. i know its hard i have the same problem. i also agree with support her through this difficult time the best you can. when its over take her up to the beef house for a nice dinner then over to the turkey run inn for the night. suprise her with some flowers and a bottle of blackberry wine from the brown county winery. this should help ease her pain and undo some rough spots . its worked for me a time or two. good luck

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by Sharon » Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:59 pm

jimbo&rooster wrote:my wife has a dachshound that is 18yrs old. In the 10yrs my wife and I have been together I have never mixed words about how I feel about this dog. Well, at 18 we are coming down to the short road with her. she has had a couple seisures, she is deaf, blind, and incontenent, and her kidneys are failing.

the dog has more or less been confined to a 6x6 pen for the last few months. my opinion is the dogs quality of life is not good.

I have suggested several times to my wife that the best thing for this dog might be to put her down, but at the suggestion, she flies off the handle and starts crying and says that i never liked the dog. I feel like she is being selfish and the dog is not relly happy......

What are yalls thoughts?

Jim

You won't win on this one. Better to say nothing and let her come to that conclusion herself. :) My husband and I have an agreement that there will be no heroic surgery - no broken legs fixed, no cancer treatments . no cataracts removed ( $3000.)etc. However, if that day should come , I'm entitled to change my mind :) I need to tell him that.
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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by ultracarry » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:06 am

The wife has an 18 yr old shi Tzu..... Dam thing doesn't have any problems and I'm baffled. I thought 18 was the end of the road but I guess not..

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by mountaindogs » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:24 am

Agree that its ultimately up to her. Be kind to her and kind to the dog. One more last vestige of hope for you is to talk with you regular veterinarian. Some vets have a way of gently reminding people to think about how hard it must for the animal and coming from someone else it might help. BUT some vets have no skills at this or flat out won't advise in any way on this. If you have a vet with good "beside manner " that might help but dont in any way act like you are involved. That would be like rallying troops against her and cant imagine that will go well at all. Just support her and try avoid mentioning the choices she makes in a judgemental way.
Agree the descision will make itself soon enough...

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by DonF » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:00 am

Boy am I glad that's not me! Whatever you do will be seen as wrong by someone. Bite your tounge. If the kidney's are sutting down, according to a vet I know, it's all but over. Does it still eat and drink? Probably quit eating several days before ity's gone. Probably will still drink a little water though, not much.
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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by JIM K » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:18 am

sometimes OTHERS like you can see things that owner of dog cant or seem to not believe.
here is story.
my sisters boxer was FALLING AND HAVE HARD TIME DRINKING WATER ETC.
i told her,SIS YOUR DOG IS DIEING.
she got real mad at me.
do i know? am i vet? no.
just humble dog lover that had and raised dogs for 46 yrs with dad.
i seen this before.

so, down to vet and spent 900 dollars on tests and vet said, SIS YOUR DOG IS DYING. :roll:
next day i held a bowl of water under ALs head so he could drink.
he DIED.

my sister was mad at me and i was mad at VET for charging the 900 only to tell her AL was dying.

as paul harvey said, GOOD DAY! 8)

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by BigShooter » Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:43 am

Generalities:

Women are from Venus & Men are from Mars

One can never fully understand & appreciate how the other acts & feels. Thousands of years of development dictates men will outnumber women as hunter gatherers . Men take lives more readily with less emotion. I dare say more men than women are motivated to protect others with less regard for personal risk to themselves. As we all know more women than men will make these kinds of decisions with less emphasis on what's most rational and with more emphasis on how they feel about it. This issue is not how to get another person to understand what is the most rational course of action. It's about getting someone to feel differently by changing deeply held feelings. I've heard a rumor that women will say men are not terribly gifted at understanding how women feel nor very adept at being supportive.
Mark

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by Sharon » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:35 pm

hpvizslas wrote:
rinker wrote:That dog is only going to suffer for a few more weeks or months no matter what. You, on the other hand, might have to suffer for years. I would advise you to leave it alone.

+1

very good. :)
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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by Cajun Casey » Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:22 pm

BigShooter wrote:Generalities:

Women are from Venus & Men are from Mars

One can never fully understand & appreciate how the other acts & feels. Thousands of years of development dictates men will outnumber women as hunter gatherers . Men take lives more readily with less emotion. I dare say more men than women are motivated to protect others with less regard for personal risk to themselves. As we all know more women than men will make these kinds of decisions with less emphasis on what's most rational and with more emphasis on how they feel about it. This issue is not how to get another person to understand what is the most rational course of action. It's about getting someone to feel differently by changing deeply held feelings. I've heard a rumor that women will say men are not terribly gifted at understanding how women feel nor very adept at being supportive.
OMG, I just spit pastrami through my nose!

She's had the dog since she was young. Losing it is about a lot of things besides just the death of the dog. I had a client go through a similar situation with a dog she had gotten her freshman year of college. Mutt made it to twenty and a few months. Her statement was that when her dog, which she had had longer than her husband or kids, died she was no longer THAT PERSON. The dog was the last link to that time of her life.

Okay, I'll let you go back to hunting and gathering......
Last edited by Cajun Casey on Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by BigShooter » Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:37 pm

Many more men than women:
1. hunt & take animal's lives 2. sign up for combat to protect and serve with the knowledge they may face the requirement to take human life 3. join police & fire protection forces with the knowledge it likely will involve protecting others while exposing themselves to personal risk 4. one's highly likely not to change how this woman feels about a loss or potential loss through rational arguments.

I'm glad your ability to shoot pastrami through your nose didn't affect your comprehension. :P
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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by Cajun Casey » Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:47 pm

BigShooter wrote:Many more men than women:
1. hunt & take animal's lives 2. sign up for combat to protect and serve with the knowledge they may face the requirement to take human life 3. join police & fire protection forces with the knowledge it likely will involve protecting others while exposing themselves to personal risk 4. one's highly likely not to change how this woman feels about a loss or potential loss through rational arguments.

I'm glad your ability to shoot pastrami through your nose didn't affect your comprehension. :P
Really? Give birth and get back to us on that altruistic risk thing, will you?
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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by jimbo&rooster » Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:48 pm

steamer wrote:that is a tight spot. like others have said she knows how you feel now its time to bite your tongue. i know its hard i have the same problem. i also agree with support her through this difficult time the best you can. when its over take her up to the beef house for a nice dinner then over to the turkey run inn for the night. suprise her with some flowers and a bottle of blackberry wine from the brown county winery. this should help ease her pain and undo some rough spots . its worked for me a time or two. good luck

Id just about whack this dog my self for an excuse to go to the beef house.....

Jim
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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by BigShooter » Sat Jun 23, 2012 4:19 pm

Cajun Casey wrote:
BigShooter wrote:Many more men than women:
1. hunt & take animal's lives 2. sign up for combat to protect and serve with the knowledge they may face the requirement to take human life 3. join police & fire protection forces with the knowledge it likely will involve protecting others while exposing themselves to personal risk 4. one's highly likely not to change how this woman feels about a loss or potential loss through rational arguments.

I'm glad your ability to shoot pastrami through your nose didn't affect your comprehension. :P
Really? Give birth and get back to us on that altruistic risk thing, will you?
Outstanding response. Love to see your source for how women more so than men tend to be okay with taking life, be it birds, animals, dogs or humans, as well as your assertion there's overwhelming evidence they tend to react on a more rational & less emotional basis to the taking of any life, especially in a situation like this. The concept of the parts taken as a whole appears lost in your translation. Some on this Board excel at isolating sentences out of context while failing to grasp entire concepts.

I'll be happy to mince words with you on or off line if that is your intention. I for one do not presume all actions are for altruistic reasons as you mistakingly suggest. The obtuse, tangential nature of your posts appear mired in obscurity.
Mark

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by wems2371 » Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:07 pm

jimbo&rooster wrote:
steamer wrote:that is a tight spot. like others have said she knows how you feel now its time to bite your tongue. i know its hard i have the same problem. i also agree with support her through this difficult time the best you can. when its over take her up to the beef house for a nice dinner then over to the turkey run inn for the night. suprise her with some flowers and a bottle of blackberry wine from the brown county winery. this should help ease her pain and undo some rough spots . its worked for me a time or two. good luck

Id just about whack this dog my self for an excuse to go to the beef house.....

Jim
I know it's in poor taste, but this did make me giggle...a hitman.

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by ACooper » Sun Jun 24, 2012 9:36 am

wems2371 wrote: I know it's in poor taste, but this did make me giggle...a hitman.
Poor taste is why the comment was funny.

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by wems2371 » Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:30 pm

ACooper wrote:
wems2371 wrote: I know it's in poor taste, but this did make me giggle...a hitman.
Poor taste is why the comment was funny.
Just trying to tread lightly Coop, so my "woman" membership card doesn't get revoked. :wink:

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by pinebrookkennel » Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:42 pm

Went through the same kind of thing with our last one.
I just took the vet off to the side and talked with them and they knew what to say to my wife. I still had a 300 dollar
bill and a carcass to take care of.
That being said I was not the ahole that said we should put her down.
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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by deke » Thu Jul 19, 2012 10:36 am

take it to the vet when she is at work and then come home put the dog in is pen, and let her find it. Nature took its course, she is none the wiser. Make sure you pay in cash at the vet though, you dont want a paper trail.

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Re: in a tight spot....

Post by Sharon » Thu Jul 19, 2012 10:48 am

birddog1968 wrote:The way i look at it and i would think anyone would understand is that any dog of mine doesn't deserve to suffer one day to spare myself any emotional pain.

I owe it to them to do the right thing in the end and not allow them to suffer or have a terribly low quality of life....


Well said . I'm going to save that quote for the day my 14 year old moves on.
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