Wife and a second dog?!

[RoostersMom]

Some very interesting opinions on this board....

My take on it - a dog is a major life purchase, not just the money, but the time, investment and if you're doing it right, she or he will be a member of the family. I would like my husband to discuss the purchase of a new family member with me. Did I want another chessie - absolutely NOT - do I feed it and walk it now? Yes. Because we agreed together to get him.

I'm a big fan of Dave Ramsey as some of you know - he and his wife have an agreement that any purchase over $200 needs to be a joint decision. Hubby and I have the same agreement. I'm not even gonna step into the feminist - you need your mama's permission bullcrap. If you feel that way - that's a problem with you.

Marriage is a partnership - and I can't think of many things more intimate in your life than adding another dog to be underfoot and emotionally draining (emergency vet visits, wife has to watch dogs when you're gone, dog has potty training issues on your floor....etc.). I guess using some people's take on things here, it would be perfectly o.k. if your wife came home tomorrow with a labradoodle because you're not her daddy and she doesn't need to ask permission for what she wants to do, right?

Permission is the wrong word here - partnership is the issue. Talk to her about the benefits of a second dog, let her go see the litter with you - if you've picked out a good litter already, it shouldn't matter which one of the pups you end up with - let her have a say in choosing one of the two or three you've narrowed it down to. I'm not saying she needs to be a doggy mom - just that it might help to involve her a little in the choice stage.

[GUNDOGS]

I look at it like this...i think this is an issue that is a personal, moral and religous issue based on how each person was raised and where they lived, who they were raised by, and what kind of marriages they were exposed to ect..there are ALOT of variables here, just because Dave feels they way he feels is not how some of you feel doesnt mean its wrong, its just wrong for you, his wife obviously feels the same way and its worked for them for many years so i dont see the point of picking it apart..my husband and i live kinda the same way but i still consider it a "partnership" ..we do discuss things, BUT i cant imagine if i was passionate about something "asking" for his permission to pursue it and him say "NO" ..that just wouldnt fly with me, sorry..i dont "ask" for anything really, when i wanted to rescue dogs i came up with a plan and we sat down together, i told him my plan and we came up with a "when" i was going to start but not "if" i could start, i think if he would have told me NO and put his foot down so to speak, i would have stepped on it and kept on walking ..the same goes for his gun collecting, he has gone to all kinds of gun shows ect and doesnt call me and "ask" if he can buy a gun he really likes, i already know this is his passion so how could i get in the way of that? you are partners yes in a marriage but you are also individuals living your "one" life so why would you want to spend it hiding money, or toys or dogs ect that just makes your marriage a lie, and i dont wanna live a lie with my hubby so i let him know everything i buy and he does the same but we dont "ask" permission to do so, and yes we have the same bank accounts and his money is mine and mine is his and we have both worked hard for it so why shouldnt we enjoy spending it on things we enjoy..actually its funny cause he just told me last night he has found a dog box for the truck and said "so whats a good day to go pick it up" (cause i schedule his jobs for our business) and i said i didnt hear you ask me if you could get it (cause i had read him some comments from this thread) and he said "i asked you to marry me and you said yes so i assumed you would say yes to every other question from then on" ..i have definitely met my match ...ruth

[BillGraves]

None of us is saying that Dave is wrong for his opinion...I think it is the fact that he believes that his way is the only way and assumes we are "whipped" or "hen-pecked" or "little boys" as he put it just because we discuss purchases with our wives. That's all.

Bill