Gun Dog Forum

Enjoying my Brittany pup so much I brought up the idea to the wife about maybe getting a second one here in a few month's.....anyone want to guess here reaction? If you have any idea's on winning over a wife in the catagorie of "honey can I get another dog", your help would be appreciated! I think there is an unwritten rule in some wife handbook somewhere that says a husband must grovel for a set amount of time before a wife can give in!

Just get it. Easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. Have her talk to my wife, we have 6.

You think your wife is balky now, wait til you have to add Number Three a few years down the line. Two young dogs turn into two old dogs. Then you're stuck unless a third is an option. IME it works to space the dogs out by several years if limted numbers is an issue.

Shags that is only an issue with my wife not me! I've got a feeling I shall have 1 or 2 more dogs in the future. 2 for now and maybe another on down the road. I need to get the first one trained before I get another, but with my wife you have to start working on her early!

I have 5 its much easier to say sorry when you come home with a pup then to ask ahead of time

Take her to a game fair, or something of the sort, and show her the puppies!!! I'm partial, but those little brit noses and tails are tough to beat. Easiest sale ever, you won't even have to ask permission.
~tommy

Get her around other dog people who will say 'having two is easier than one, you just put them out and they play will entertain each other'. Worked for me.

i agree with other posts..just bring it home one day and tell her, "honey, i know you wouldn't approve of this but, i had to rescue the poor little thing because the owner can't keep it any more..i hate to see it go to the human society..and by the way would you like to go for dinner???"

1. give her a sob story.
2. tell her how much you love her.
3. ask her for a date to distract the thought.

remember....NOT all women are alike!!!

DO NOT ATTEMPT...Above suggestion is done on a CONTROL SITUATION ONLY

Firemedic wrote:Just get it. Easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. Have her talk to my wife, we have 6.

Yep

Hehehe, my wife wants us to keep 1 from our next litter... I said no how about 2... she goes OK! but then we already have 4, and it IS her program... so probably not the same situation.

Get a new wife that doesn't mind 2 dogs! Problem solved. lol

Prairie Hunter wrote:Get a new wife that doesn't mind 2 dogs! Problem solved. lol

Do you have any idea what that would cost me??????????????? If i'm going to have to go thru pain and suffering eather way I might as well keep the wife, my money, my house and my bass boat!

I just had this discussion yesterday. I can only get a puppy when I breed my dog and keep one. (pending health certs) other then that its a not going to happen situation.

onk,
You and I are probably from different generations so my advise to you will be from a generation prior to the femization of America. 1st you never ever ask a female
for permission to do any thing, your wife is not your mother, as Logan Bennett wrote in his old book, Training Grouse and Woodcock Dogs, you simply bring the puppy home, your wife will soon learn to love it. Now that was my generation, today depending on the female you are married to, this might get you devorced. I have 6 dogs here in our home, they are kept in their cages at night in a room off our office, my wife has no say as to how many Grouse dogs I own, I take care of them 99% of the time, they alter her way of life in no way, in fact we have a dutch door that devides our formal living room, dining room and 2nd floor from the game room and office area, where the dogs roam freely, both in and out, of the outside kennel area. The house does not smell like dogs and we live in a very clean & disciplined manner, my wife understand that the dogs do not fall under her pervue, having a Grouse dog training business in which she does not participate I have always owned more than one dog. Of course having her own Private Music Teaching Business, I have nothing to say about her, expensive Violins, Violas, Piano's or womans orgnizations she belongs too either, we have been married for over 30 years, are individuals that both love and respect each other in every way, we have a marriage, I am not her father and she is not my mother.
RGD/Dave

RGD,
That is very true and how we usually operate... one small problem when it comes to my wife and dogs... she will just go and buy a dam English bull dog and want it to sleep in the same room and expect me to take care of it because she does not have the time. And in no way do I want or need a English bull dog. So for the dog topic I choose to discuss it.

As for coach purses and coach sun glasses, $300 jeans, I do not blink when she buys them (eyes stuck open in disbelief) though . Fishing and hunting gear on my part she has no say...

Onk wrote:

Prairie Hunter wrote:Get a new wife that doesn't mind 2 dogs! Problem solved. lol

Do you have any idea what that would cost me??????????????? If i'm going to have to go thru pain and suffering eather way I might as well keep the wife, my money, my house and my bass boat!

You have a point!

I'm with the "two are easier than one" club. My wife will tell you how much easier it is to have two, well three, than one. They entertain eachother and help to clean each other when needed.

Ryman Gun Dog wrote:onk,
You and I are probably from different generations so my advise to you will be from a generation prior to the femization of America. 1st you never ever ask a female
for permission to do any thing, your wife is not your mother, as Logan Bennett wrote in his old book, Training Grouse and Woodcock Dogs, you simply bring the puppy home, your wife will soon learn to love it. Now that was my generation, today depending on the female you are married to, this might get you devorced. I have 6 dogs here in our home, they are kept in their cages at night in a room off our office, my wife has no say as to how many Grouse dogs I own, I take care of them 99% of the time, they alter her way of life in no way, in fact we have a dutch door that devides our formal living room, dining room and 2nd floor from the game room and office area, where the dogs roam freely, both in and out, of the outside kennel area. The house does not smell like dogs and we live in a very clean & disciplined manner, my wife understand that the dogs do not fall under her pervue, having a Grouse dog training business in which she does not participate I have always owned more than one dog. Of course having her own Private Music Teaching Business, I have nothing to say about her, expensive Violins, Violas, Piano's or womans orgnizations she belongs too either, we have been married for over 30 years, are individuals that both love and respect each other in every way, we have a marriage, I am not her father and she is not my mother.
RGD/Dave

Amen! That's the way we view our marriage as well (although I'm clearly not from the same generation at 29 years old). Take comfort in the fact that there are still like-minded people out there in the younger generations. Albeit a MUCH smaller percentage.

Have a great day all.
Jon

Well in my sitiuation its a bit different seeing as im wifey i have to say its nice havin a spouse with the same interests but it is true what RGD said, also if you are going to approach your wife with ideas of another dog heres some advice...make sure you dont make promises you cant keep, dont say you will take care of it, walk, train, feed it and then once you get it end up sticking her with responsibilities she may not have wanted..this will only cause a riff between the two of you and her and the dog..also allow her to pick it, then if it misbehaves she will not complain so much because she chose it and always remember ITS CHEAPER TO KEEP' ER ....ruth

Ryman Gun Dog wrote:onk,
You and I are probably from different generations so my advise to you will be from a generation prior to the femization of America. 1st you never ever ask a female
for permission to do any thing, your wife is not your mother, as Logan Bennett wrote in his old book, Training Grouse and Woodcock Dogs, you simply bring the puppy home, your wife will soon learn to love it. Now that was my generation, today depending on the female you are married to, this might get you devorced. I have 6 dogs here in our home, they are kept in their cages at night in a room off our office, my wife has no say as to how many Grouse dogs I own, I take care of them 99% of the time, they alter her way of life in no way, in fact we have a dutch door that devides our formal living room, dining room and 2nd floor from the game room and office area, where the dogs roam freely, both in and out, of the outside kennel area. The house does not smell like dogs and we live in a very clean & disciplined manner, my wife understand that the dogs do not fall under her pervue, having a Grouse dog training business in which she does not participate I have always owned more than one dog. Of course having her own Private Music Teaching Business, I have nothing to say about her, expensive Violins, Violas, Piano's or womans orgnizations she belongs too either, we have been married for over 30 years, are individuals that both love and respect each other in every way, we have a marriage, I am not her father and she is not my mother.
RGD/Dave

You are a wise, wise man!

I am with Dave on this one. My wife and I do let each other know what we plan on doing and then we do it as long as it is not going to hurt the other one. We respect each others wishes and want the other one to be happy. It also makes a difference on which one is in charge of the finances, which in our case is me, although she does have her own spending money. I believe this also has to do with the different generation. It makes for a happy and healthy marriage, which is 43 years now for us. When it comes to dogs, the one thing I do respect is her strong wish to not have one in the house because she would have to share in the responsibility and care and she wants no part of it and I don't think it would be fair to her. We are both away from the house too much anyway.

In your case, my philosophy would be....she will get over it. Although there is something to be said for keeping peace in the family.

Charlie

You could try telling her your going to get two pups then let her beat you down to "just" one. It worked for me !

Bill T.

I tink Dave might have been Moses in another life time!!! I might be making my wife out to be a tad bit worse than she really is. I have had many dogs and hobbies thru our 26 yrs together, but it never hurts to ask for the advice of others! Well that and you never really know when you are just one dog away from flipping that switch that makes your wife go Lorena Bobbit on you in your sleep! Oops there I go again! Great advice Dave, you should write a book for those like me to follow. You could call it something like "Gundogs and The Modern Women"! Just an idea!

Trekmoor wrote:You could try telling her your going to get two pups then let her beat you down to "just" one. It worked for me !

Bill T.

Trek I like the way you think, shoot high and settle lower ( with what you wanted from the start )!

Dang I have to grovel to the hubby to get another dog! But it has worked 6 times now!

GunDogs,
Ruth in your case everything is reversed, however I am sure you and your hubby live much like my wife and I do. Ruth you are not going to like this next part and you probably do not represent these kind of girls, there is a great deal of difference between a lady and a little girl. My advise to all the modern men is to get a premarital agreement, because in the modern world, if a man and woman break up a marriage the man 90% of the time, looses most everything including his children, which he ends up paying for anyway. I have seen this happen way to many times to my friends including my brother, especially in this modern computer era. Young men today should get a premarital agreement, which includes everything in the marriage including the dogs, kids and all other private property being devided equally. Today because of the laws being slanted totally in the females direction, if the premarital legal document is not signed, my advise to all young men is to walk away from any kind of marriage. You may be in love, but do not go into marriage today legally blind, today a man who works hard to provide for his family should not have to loose everything if his wife decides she likes another man. There is no equality under the law, in a family court. The modern young man must legally eliminate modern family court if he is to
survive a marriage break up, no matter whos fault the break up happens to be, if the man whats to go on and have a productive life after any kind of modern marriage break up. The female must be put on equal ground legally, prior to the marriage. No matter how much you love each other, today you must enter the marriage as equals under the law or the man 90% of the time looses everything.
Ruth is correct its cheaper to keep her, but its not always your choice, so make her equal under the law prior to marriage.
RGD/Dave

Rymangundogs, please know cheaper to keeper was my sense of humor ..my husband and i literally started our life together with nothin, counting change for gas until the casino was built and i started making a good living..all these years later and 5 kids we have built a life together due to hard work on both of our parts..i look at it like this, at one point i worked for 10 years at a casino (worked my but off 60 hours a week usually) and he went to school cause lets just say he didnt "do" school when he was younger so he had to go as an adult..i worked hard to pay for him to go to college/trade school for plumbing and electrical and business also i supported our family for 3 years while he apprentised so it was a loooong time of him not making money but i knew what the investment was as far as his future and how it would benefit our family especially my kids so i did what i had to do..when he began his construction business years ago and money started to come in we started debating if i should quit the casino and be home with the kids and help him run the business and we decided staying home was best for all especially the kids..now brian works 72 hour weeks most of the time..he walks in the door and hands me every penny he makes without question (i do our books and handle finances well since our house was paid for in 5 years) and he never complains because he says he is doing what he has always wanted to do for a living and how many people can say that ..also we both respect the fact that yes we are married but we are individuals first and i support his hobbies and interests and he does the same for me..it just so happens we both love dogs and hunting so its a real plus for sure..so now all these years later we went from literally nothing to what i consider to be a comfortable living with no worries and i do believe it took us both to get here, he is no more or less entitled to anything then i am and after seeing him walk in the door covered in drywall dust from head to toe and with split fingers and raw knees from doing tile ect every day i cant imagine thinking of letting him ever go without his entitlements in the event of our split....in the event of any divorce a REAL man wouldnt take everything from his wife and kids, and a REAL woman wouldnt ask him for everything...jmo....ruth

Now back to our program...

Start the discussion again this way,

"Dear, I'm thinking about trading you in for another hunting dog."

GunDogs,
Ruth you are a lady and I like the way you think and act, give your husband my best, when he comes home from work, I know he realizes he is married to a lady.
Hope some day we get to meet and do a little hunting, you and your hubby are always welcome around our fire, and in my home.
RGD/Dave

Ryman Gun Dog wrote:GunDogs,
Ruth you are a lady and I like the way you think and act, give your husband my best, when he comes home from work, I know he realizes he is married to a lady.
Hope some day we get to meet and do a little hunting, you and your hubby are always welcome around our fire, and in my home.
RGD/Dave

Thank you very much, coming from you that means alot..i would love to get together one day and soak up some of your knowledge and experiences..our door is always open to you and your wife as well ....ruth

Mother of Pearl! Don't dare ask!!!!! Get it and make her demand that you take it back. She will be in love with it in 24 hours. I have brought home 4 without asking no need to start now.

We have one 6 month GSP right now. I started talking to my son about getting a second puppy a couple months ago in the presense of my wife and the conversation always ended with "we are NOT getting a another dog" from her. So instead of easing into something like I normally would I just sent a deposit for a puppy and left the money order receipt out where she would see it. It just so happened THAT day my two daughters where home alone and someone TRIED to get into the house. As I raced home home in a cruiser and called for assistance from the local PD our 6 month old puppy put himself between the front door and the individual barking and growling. the person went to the back of the house and our puppy followed him just as the local PD pulled up to intercept him. Supposedly he wanted manure from our cows but this individual has neverbeen back to get anything. So that little incident has earned our puppy, who is ironically named Felon first rate treatment from my wife who now makes sure he gets his special chew bones and toys. AND most importantly her acceptance of the soon to be puppy.

Normally I just operate under the "it's easier to ask for forgivness then ask for permission".

Sorry to take this thread off topic here, but Ryman GD, I simply cannot disagree with you more. Getting a prenup is like quitting before you even start. It's saying that there's a good chance that we're going to split and so I want to protect myself in the case of this inevitable event. I understand your point that courts definitely side with women these days but IMO, it should never get to that. My belief is that if you are going to get a prenup, why get married in the first place? If it is for religious reasons, then you obviously don't take the vows that you say at the alter before God and witnesses seriously "Better or worse..etc."

My wife and I always talk about purchases like this before we make them. We have financial goals and a pup, while it is not the most expensive thing in the world up front, does end up costing quite a bit in the long run. My dog is going in for surgery tomorrow to remove a lump at about $450. Those unexpected things add up with a new pup. Expenses, the way we work things, affect both of us and we do not have separate accounts. What's mine is hers and what's hers is mine.

My opinion for the OP is to talk to your wife. Mine would be peeved if I brought a new pup home without asking. Happy wife, happy life.

Bill

Excellent post Bill.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
We will let the discussion of premarital agreements and feminized America go for another thread, it is as I indicated a generational topic in itself.
However as I indicated never ever ask a female for permission to do anything, unless you want to have another mother not a wife. Now if you expect to have your wife take care of the dog in any way, that is a completely different situation. In our home my wife does not feed, clean up or baby sit the dogs, it simply is not her responsibility.
If you as a man need your wife to help with your dog, then you must take her opinion into account prior to the purchase. However there is a big difference between askng your wife for permission to purchase a dog and discussing just when you plan to get one. A mans responsibility is to work hard and support his family, with that responsibility a man should also be able to own the private property he desires, home, dog, what ever else. Having a wonderful mate is Gods gift to a good Christian man,
her responsibility is to walk along side her husband and help make a home. She is to be treated as a gift from God, her responsibility is to walk with her husband not
lead him. She is to temper his will and make him walk in the manner God has planned for him, I feel sorry for the young men who must placate their wife by asking her permission to own a dog or anything else. There is a difference between a man and a little boy. I was rasied to be a man and have responsibilities as such, and treat a lady like a lady.
RGD/Dave

Ryman Gun Dog wrote:Ladies and Gentlemen,
We will let the discussion of premarital agreements and feminized America go for another thread, it is as I indicated a generational topic in itself.
However as I indicated never ever ask a female for permission to do anything, unless you want to have another mother not a wife. Now if you expect to have your wife take care of the dog in any way, that is a completely different situation. In our home my wife does not feed, clean up or baby sit the dogs, it simply is not her responsibility.
If you as a man need your wife to help with your dog, then you must take her opinion into account prior to the purchase. However there is a big difference between askng your wife for permission to purchase a dog and discussing just when you plan to get one. A mans responsibility is to work hard and support his family, with that responsibility a man should also be able to own the private property he desires, home, dog, what ever else. Having a wonderful mate is Gods gift to a good Christian man,
her responsibility is to walk along side her husband and help make a home. She is to be treated as a gift from God, her responsibility is to walk with her husband not
lead him. She is to temper his will and make him walk in the manner God has planned for him, I feel sorry for the young men who must placate their wife by asking her permission to own a dog or anything else. There is a difference between a man and a little boy. I was rasied to be a man and have responsibilities as such, and treat a lady like a lady.
RGD/Dave

This is the exact description of the Womens Rights movement only in reverse. Just another example of someone not fully understanding the meaning of equal rights. Or maybe it is like Dave says, I'm just too young to understand how to treat a partner. Sounds a lot like what we see in the middle east where they don't bother to school the females since they are supposed to be subservient to the better sex.

Ezzy

Ezzy,
Spoken like a true modern feminist. Ladies in this country have every right men do, however lots of them today want to be men.
They think because they are different they are not equal, hardly true. You can ask your wife for permission to purchase a dog if you like,
lots of guys have 2nd mothers. Wives should walk beside their husbands not lead them, course many young women today seen to want to lead,
so they find a boy who will follow.
RGD/Dave

Wow. It doesn't take much of a man to have your attitude Dave. Small, insecure people live where you do.

Slistoe,
I wondered how long it would be before this conversation became personal, sounds like you ask permission quite a bit. Hit a little close to home for ya did I.
Have never had a small insecure moment that I can remember, know a lot of feminized little boys who are very insecure however. They all talk and act the same way,
and they all have 2nd mothers.
RGD/Dave

why must we always attack each other on here ? its getting really old ! a friendly disagreement is one thing but attacking an individual. I'm not saying a agree or disagree with Dave but he has a right to his opinion and so does everyone else no need to go after someone who you've only met on the internet.

Ryman,

If you're going to pull God into this, it also says in the Bible that husbands should respect their wifes and treat them like Christ treated the church. Don't you think that it is respectful to at least discuss a large purchase with your wife. If you are saying that wives should walk beside their husbands, I agree, but doesn't that also mean that the husband will be walking beside his wife? I am all for the man being the leader in the home, but IMO, it shows respect and caring for your wife to discuss such things. I am 27 years old and I am not a feminist and I do not have a second mother but I do ask my wife her opinion on things like the purchase of another dog, because it affects both of us even if she never so much as looks at the dog. It is our money, my time that I spend away with another dog and all the other things that go along with it.

Bill

That's very wise advice for 27.
I've been marrie 40 years and it has been a total partnership.
We discuss any large purchases coming from a joint bank account.

My husband never had a dog and was somewhat afraid of dogs.
When I wanted a dog he was nervous but wanting me to be happy said, "Go for it.'

We now have 3 dogs in the house and he enjoys them , but sometimes says , " I hope I die first . I don't want to be left looking after these dogs."

PS Excellent post Bill G.

gittrdonebritts wrote:why must we always attack each other on here ? its getting really old ! a friendly disagreement is one thing but attacking an individual. I'm not saying a agree or disagree with Dave but he has a right to his opinion and so does everyone else no need to go after someone who you've only met on the internet.

And calling folks "little boys" is not personal? RGD's opinions were demeaning to all women and derogatory to men who believe that women are not second class humans. And it is my OPINION that only small, insecure men will believe that is the proper way to treat fellow human beings just because they are women, just as it is his opinion that those people who build a relationship on mutual trust and respect are "little boys".

Ryman Gun Dog wrote:I wondered how long it would be before this conversation became personal...... RGD/Dave

Well for me, as a female , it became personal when you posted and had to bring feminization and the modern woman into a thread. Of course that's not the first time you've posted such stuff, and it seems you have an axe to grind. But I let most things slide. I've got strong shoulders from years of doing a man's job.

My husband and I are a team, literally. We have been working together for years, and collect a single paycheck, which goes into a single bank account. We're not wealthy, so when it comes to adding dogs, we have to consider future vet bills, dog food, training items, and the cost of the games we're going to play with the dog...and the fact that we keep ours in the house. I think I would have to take that even more into consideration, if he didn't enjoy and partake in the dogs. After all, what would be in it for him?

When I got my 2nd shorthair, I joked that I'd be getting a 3rd in a few years. He said three is the limit and I laughed, because neither one of us controls the other, and we both know it. At the time, we already had 3 dogs, counting our old lab. Well the lab is now 14, and I give him ribbing that the 3rd shorthair is within sight. I know my limitations though, and in my experience, bringing a 2nd in before the first was farther along in her training...just divided our training time and slowed everything down. So a 3rd is not in the picture, until we get where we want to be with the other two, and that's the plan. When the time is right, we'll both know, and welcome a new pup.

slistoe wrote:

gittrdonebritts wrote:why must we always attack each other on here ? its getting really old ! a friendly disagreement is one thing but attacking an individual. I'm not saying a agree or disagree with Dave but he has a right to his opinion and so does everyone else no need to go after someone who you've only met on the internet.

And calling folks "little boys" is not personal? RGD's opinions were demeaning to all women and derogatory to men who believe that women are not second class humans. And it is my OPINION that only small, insecure men will believe that is the proper way to treat fellow human beings just because they are women, just as it is his opinion that those people who build a relationship on mutual trust and respect are "little boys".

Slistoe I wasn't defending him. or Talking about anyone in particular both party's are guilty of making demeaning comments its seems to be a common trend in most threads any more people get upset then the gloves come off that's the only thing i was getting at sorry if i made it seem as though I was taking a side in this.

compasscreek wrote:We have one 6 month GSP right now. I started talking to my son about getting a second puppy a couple months ago in the presense of my wife and the conversation always ended with "we are NOT getting a another dog" from her. So instead of easing into something like I normally would I just sent a deposit for a puppy and left the money order receipt out where she would see it. It just so happened THAT day my two daughters where home alone and someone TRIED to get into the house. As I raced home home in a cruiser and called for assistance from the local PD our 6 month old puppy put himself between the front door and the individual barking and growling. the person went to the back of the house and our puppy followed him just as the local PD pulled up to intercept him. Supposedly he wanted manure from our cows but this individual has neverbeen back to get anything. So that little incident has earned our puppy, who is ironically named Felon first rate treatment from my wife who now makes sure he gets his special chew bones and toys. AND most importantly her acceptance of the soon to be puppy.

Normally I just operate under the "it's easier to ask for forgivness then ask for permission".

compasscreek... do you know where I can rent a burglar for a day??? that might just work!!!

He quit asking where the dogs came from. The horse is another story......

Just stage it! No reason to have a "co-defendant"! lol

Ryman Gun Dog wrote:o... my advise to you will be from a generation prior to the femization of America. 1st you never ever ask a female
for permission to do any thing, your wife is not your mother, .... we have been married for over 30 years, are individuals that both love and respect each other in every way, we have a marriage, I am not her father and she is not my mother.
RGD/Dave

Amen to that brother!
I can't believe how whipped these young guys are.

To add a little humor into the discussion, I will share what I thought to be a funny story.

A local trialer / hunt test-er purchased two new horses and a trailer from a fellow trialer without telling her husband (she was just waiting for the right time). It was going to be a while before she picked them up, so she didnt think it was a huge ordeal (i think she may have even gotten the horses for free and just paid for the trailer). Dog world is a pretty small world, so the 1st event she went to after making the purchase, someone approached her husband and asked how the new horses were working out for him. Needless to say the cat was out of the bag at that point and there was some explaining to do. It all worked out fine, however her husband gets ribbed about it pretty often.