help with everything!
Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 1:37 pm
hello! this is my first post on the forums but ive been reading them for several weeks if not longer now. I just wanted to say ive enjoyed this sight tremendously and am hoping i can get some advice from the 'experts' out there.
first of all a little history: I havent had a dog for several years. i have never owned a gun dog and my last dog was a border collie. my problem is that i now have a 11 week old yellow lab and i just dont think things are working out. i did do some extensive training with my collie, hand signles some frisbee tricks etc. nothing professional just alot of time at the park. i always got compliments on how well behaved and sweet my dog was, however i always thought she was a little to shy and submissive for my liking. i was really hoping this dog was going to be different. however i think im the one thats creating the shy dog, not that the dog is shy.
I think the problems are mostly on my end, human issues. the dogs sweet, seems intelligent, has shown good hunting drive, and all in all has been pretty wonderfull with one exception. The dog just doesnt seem that interested in me, and i dont feel like were bonding. the dog rarely comes when called, doesnt wag a tail or show any sort of interest in me. ive taken teh dog for walks, taken it to the park, ive taken it with me everywhere i can. short of letting it sleep in my bed i spend every minute i can with the dog. ive tried to lavish it with affection and fun but the dog just seems more interested in our other pom-chi puppy we got at the same time for my girlfriend. the big problems is the lack of interest in me is creating frustration on my part then i end up getting short with the dog because i get frustrated. which in turn i believe is leading to more bonding and trust issues.
ive read the staple of books by walters and ive done some research and reading as well. everywhere it talks about the bond, the trust, the desire to please etc. well how does one get that? the prescribed feeding and loving the dog dont seem to be working. have i already caused to many problems between me and the dog to ever have that sort of bond that im looking for? the dog sits, lays down, jumps up, jumps off, and will usually look at me if i ask her to with a tasty treat. however if i ask her to do it for me she just sits there or runs off. ive given her some corrections and ill be the first to admit that i have lost my cool with the dog for a few things that wernt really the dogs fault. a perfect example would be last night i was working on sit stay with whistle blow and then a whistle recall and the dog was doing awesome (she was actually jumping into my arms on the recall.) the problem was about the 3rd or 4th series my girlfriend let her dog down and the dog came running in just as i was asking my dog to sit. she then had the nerve after my dog bolted after the 'rat dog' to say well i thought the distraction would help. i got so pissed off at my girlferiend that i ended up jerking the dog in like a 50lb salmon. i felt bad afterwards but it made me realize two things. i need to get some professional help training so i dont get so frustrated. the second is that i cant afford professional trainer to work with me.
i dont want to ruin the dog anymore then i have, if i have. i also dont want to be the kind of guy that overbears his dog creating another shy submissive dog. it seems some problem like this crops up way to often and i always seem to lose my temper. however i do have to admit that right after getting the dog we have had several family issues come up mainly with my parents health and or our personal finanaces which have caused additional stress to our household. i guess bottom line is i feel like i should get rid of the dog, seek some professional training for me when i can financially, and wait to get another puppy and give it another go round when things are a little better emotionally for myself. problem is everyone is attatched to thh dog and even talking about getting rid of the dog is creating issues with the kids and girlfriend. the dog isnt being beat or anything, i just cant seem to help with getting frustrated and giving the dog over exuberant corrections, just so that i feel better. i know this cant be the way to train a confident, bonded dog.
what should i do? is there any hope to salvaging the relationship with the dog? am i right in thinking to get rid of the dog realizing i dont have the patience and personal training at the moment to train a true gun dog? i didnt really want a family pet, i wanted a hunting buddy and a working gun dog. i really thought this was going to be alot easier now that id raised kids and was older.
any advice would be appreciated.
--Nyles
first of all a little history: I havent had a dog for several years. i have never owned a gun dog and my last dog was a border collie. my problem is that i now have a 11 week old yellow lab and i just dont think things are working out. i did do some extensive training with my collie, hand signles some frisbee tricks etc. nothing professional just alot of time at the park. i always got compliments on how well behaved and sweet my dog was, however i always thought she was a little to shy and submissive for my liking. i was really hoping this dog was going to be different. however i think im the one thats creating the shy dog, not that the dog is shy.
I think the problems are mostly on my end, human issues. the dogs sweet, seems intelligent, has shown good hunting drive, and all in all has been pretty wonderfull with one exception. The dog just doesnt seem that interested in me, and i dont feel like were bonding. the dog rarely comes when called, doesnt wag a tail or show any sort of interest in me. ive taken teh dog for walks, taken it to the park, ive taken it with me everywhere i can. short of letting it sleep in my bed i spend every minute i can with the dog. ive tried to lavish it with affection and fun but the dog just seems more interested in our other pom-chi puppy we got at the same time for my girlfriend. the big problems is the lack of interest in me is creating frustration on my part then i end up getting short with the dog because i get frustrated. which in turn i believe is leading to more bonding and trust issues.
ive read the staple of books by walters and ive done some research and reading as well. everywhere it talks about the bond, the trust, the desire to please etc. well how does one get that? the prescribed feeding and loving the dog dont seem to be working. have i already caused to many problems between me and the dog to ever have that sort of bond that im looking for? the dog sits, lays down, jumps up, jumps off, and will usually look at me if i ask her to with a tasty treat. however if i ask her to do it for me she just sits there or runs off. ive given her some corrections and ill be the first to admit that i have lost my cool with the dog for a few things that wernt really the dogs fault. a perfect example would be last night i was working on sit stay with whistle blow and then a whistle recall and the dog was doing awesome (she was actually jumping into my arms on the recall.) the problem was about the 3rd or 4th series my girlfriend let her dog down and the dog came running in just as i was asking my dog to sit. she then had the nerve after my dog bolted after the 'rat dog' to say well i thought the distraction would help. i got so pissed off at my girlferiend that i ended up jerking the dog in like a 50lb salmon. i felt bad afterwards but it made me realize two things. i need to get some professional help training so i dont get so frustrated. the second is that i cant afford professional trainer to work with me.
i dont want to ruin the dog anymore then i have, if i have. i also dont want to be the kind of guy that overbears his dog creating another shy submissive dog. it seems some problem like this crops up way to often and i always seem to lose my temper. however i do have to admit that right after getting the dog we have had several family issues come up mainly with my parents health and or our personal finanaces which have caused additional stress to our household. i guess bottom line is i feel like i should get rid of the dog, seek some professional training for me when i can financially, and wait to get another puppy and give it another go round when things are a little better emotionally for myself. problem is everyone is attatched to thh dog and even talking about getting rid of the dog is creating issues with the kids and girlfriend. the dog isnt being beat or anything, i just cant seem to help with getting frustrated and giving the dog over exuberant corrections, just so that i feel better. i know this cant be the way to train a confident, bonded dog.
what should i do? is there any hope to salvaging the relationship with the dog? am i right in thinking to get rid of the dog realizing i dont have the patience and personal training at the moment to train a true gun dog? i didnt really want a family pet, i wanted a hunting buddy and a working gun dog. i really thought this was going to be alot easier now that id raised kids and was older.
any advice would be appreciated.
--Nyles